To be or not to be (Danny Kojima)

Do you know someone who is exhibitionist? Or maybe someone who likes to put their genital (usually a man who put his penis) into someones butt when they're in the train or bus?

Well, in Jakarta, sometimes there's someone do that until the semen come out and got caught until the police also take care of it. Of course exhibitionist and someone who put his penis to someone's butt is a different case. But of course, they have somethings wrong in their mind about sexuality.

Most of people will discuss about the paraphilias--group of disorders defined by recurrent sexual attraction to unusual objects or sexual activities lasting at least 6 months--which is not what we will discuss for today. DSM 5 represents a new name for some disorder. Like one of them is Pedohebephilic disorder which we known before as pedophilia.

There's a case that I saw it with my own eyes. It's not like exhibitionist or anything. One of my student, a boy, like to touch and shake his genital area. I know he's still a boy and still 3 years old, but I'm a little concern what he will face when he grows up. There is a possibilities that he maybe become a frotteuristic disorder--who likes sexual touching of an unsuspecting person--and maybe got caught by the police. Yes it's maybe my imagination, but it's not impossible for him to be like that.

Like I said before, we will not discuss about the paraphilias, we will discuss more for the psychological effect to them.

Some of the people maybe feel weird with what they have. Maybe the person who know what they have feel hard to be satisfied and always want to be satisfied sexually. They actually know it's a disorder when they disturb someone else like put their penis in someone's butt. If there's a person like this, one thing he needs is of course a therapy for make his behavior become normal again like anyone else and for not disturb to someone else again.

Okay, that if someone disturb anyone else. But what if he/she is not disturb anyone else? It's just like sadochism and masochism. They like to be a sadistic to their sexual partner, or like to be tormented by their sexual partner. These people maybe look normal on the outside, but different in the inside.

So how we deal with someone like that? Of course the first thing is that, don't alienated them. Let them be friend with us. Of course they just know that they have a disorder, but they also need friends, and they want to be cured, well most of them. Don't make them be alone, they're still human like us.

I have another story, it's from my teacher back then. So there's a couple, her husband likes to torment her when they want to have a sexual relation, which makes her husband becomes a sadochism. She don't like it and take it as a violence to her. She reported it to the police and the police caught her husband. She got a divorced and marry with someone else. When she having a sexual relationship with her new husband, she feel there's something missing, which is a torment from her husband. And from that, she asked to be tormented by her new husband so she become a masochist.

Something that you get used to do will become your pleasure, especially sexual thing, will makes you wants more and more. Like exhibitionist, they like to show their genital and someone else reactions. After they do it once, they want more and more and more. So be careful for not to get trap inside the paraphilias and we have to be friend with everyone even they have a paraphilias, because they're still human.

So it's actually up to you. To be someone who have paraphilias or not to be. To be someone who is normal again or not to be.

 

7 November 2013