Have
you ever watched Lie To Me series? No, not Korean Drama, but the
American Crime Drama one. Lie To Me series is about Dr. Cal Lightman and
his colleagues in The Lightman Group assisting investigation for the
police by looking for the microexpressions to show the truth they're hiding. Microexpression is a universal language that everyone show
Why
is it important? Well, imagine that you can always know if someone is
lying or not by only looking their gestures, body language. Isn't it
convenient? It seems convenient, However, how would you know why someone
is lying? What is the reason that make someone want to hide the truth,
no matter how small the truth is? You can't know about it if you only
look at their microexpression.
Before
we talk about that, let's talk about men and women first. We want to
discuss about relationship between men and women, right? Well, there are
differences between men and women in perceiving the non-verbal
communications. Women is more perceptive than men. Sometimes, we men,
don't understand what our girls want when they only sit down and do
nothing. If we getting closer to her, they will mad. If we try to leave
her alone, they also will mad. However, when women interact with another
women, they know how to take care each others, they know about their
own non-verbal. Then it is true that, women know more about the
non-verbal communication rather than men.
In the Lie To Me series, Dr. Cal Lightman lead his colleagues to learn about microexpression. But, to do that, he needs to learn the microexpression
for years and then he can master it. In the first episode, he is
scouting a woman called Ria Torres. Different from Dr. Cal Lightman, Ria
Torres is someone called 'natural' in microexpression. Why is it
become different? Is it because of the ability of women? It is told in
later episodes that Ria actually have a traumatize past as an abused
child in her family. She was abused, probably by his father. While Dr.
Cal Lightman, he want to study about the microexpression because of the dead of his mother. So they both have a kind of same traumatic event that make them learn the microexpression either by naturally, or by studying it.
But, what is actually the connection between the microexpression and the non-verbal communication? Well, it's true that we don't really need to learn about microexpression
only to know if our partner is lying or not. We only have to learn our
partner's non-verbal to know what they want, when they just sit down
quietly. Well, this is especially needed for men rather than women. So
non-verbal, will it improve our relationship with others? The fact is
yes. Even we learn languages, know what they said, but our non-verbal is
actually already been there since we were born, and non-verbal is
having more effect than the verbal itself. So non-verbal communication,
if we can use it right, we will improve our relationship with our
partner. We don't need to learn about microexpression to know our partner, we only have to be with our partner, learn about them, care about them, love them.
When
some commercial said, "Because women want to be understandable,"
remember that it is not because they need make up or anti-aging cream,
what they need is our attention to them, and remember, we can't do it
instantly, we need to learn it step by step while we knowing our
partner.
If
you girls get angry only because your boyfriend don't understand you,
get realistic that men is different from you and don't understand about
your gesture well. Men are more like a 'news' creature that tell
everything in order and what they need to tell. While women more like a
'relationship' creature that want to be better with everyone.
So men, women, please be concern with what each other said and not said. Love them just the way they are, take care of them.
But behavior in the human being is sometimes a defense, a way of
concealing motives and thoughts, as language can be a way of hiding your
thoughts and preventing communication. - Abraham Maslow
30 Agustus 2013
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