Boy or Girl: Is it Important? (Imelda Victoria)

My Women psychology’s lecturer, Mrs. Henny Wirawan, on the last monday talking about women’s development stage. Mrs. Henny said that woman has been different from men even from before they were born. Especially their biological structure, such as their brain, women were said to be have smaller brain than men. Girl’s puberty is also faster than boy’s. So, the unavoided differences shown between women and men wanted or not. With this differences, women and men absolutely will be having a different development (both from the cognitive, pyshical, and psychosocial area).

I’ll be concern more on the psychosocial area. One thing that inspired me so much to write this blog is come from Mrs. Henny speech about clan or family name. In a patriarchy family, boys are so precious, worthy, and recognized as a ‘true’ descendant. A patriarchy family who didn’t have a boy will be categorized as ‘a dead family’. I’m keep thinking about this one, the way of parents who didn’t have a boy treats their own daughter as nothing, can be considered as an unappreciation of child right? Saying that their family is dead already because the boy is absent and they are only having a daughter, is the same thing as a women who did abortion or throwing away their unwanted child. It’s so unfair for their children. The same goes to the matriarchy family.

Actually, the boys and girls, both are having the same status as children, as a human being. Saying that a girls born from patriarchy family didn’t have a right to inherit the clan name and treated as something like an unwanted child, is so unhuman. That way of thinking actually killing their own daughter emotionally and psychologically. Their daughter must be at least feeling an unwanted feel comes from their parent. It is sad to see your own parent disappointed with your sex because of the clan’s rule. And in some patriarchy family, it is possible for the daughter to be wanting transgender. The same goes to the matriarchy family, a boy from this kind of family doing transgender is happened a lot already.

The question that come from me, why must clan’s name is passed by only one sex? Women or men, both of them will be still giving an offspring as long as they can create a child right? So in other word, your bloodline is still continue as long as there is a child born from your child and so on. It doesn’t make sense that a lot of people having a stressful life because of the burden come from not be able to passed the clan name. Boys or girls, no matter what is your own child. Parents must love their own child because that child born from their own wish. Without the parent’s wish, there is no child in that family. Boys or girls, both of them must have a same right to receives love and sastify from their parent.

The differences on sex is not something that must be concerned on the born child. Your child can live and born healthy is a blessing already. My mother’s friend having a hard time to give birth. 10 years marriage, they failed for many times to create a child. But finally in past 2 year, they are success to give birth a baby girl. Eventhough they are a patriarchy family, they keep saying that their child is the biggest gift, the most precious thing in their life. I love to see this. We must learn too that having a child is not as easy as we think.