Married or not? (Imelda Victoria)

"Wedding’, a ceremony which is said to must be experienced by all adults in their 20s. A sacred ceremony where two individuals become one. A sign of a new life begin. A born of a new family. The biggest event that said to be happened only once in one’s life.

In our social life, at least we have heard one of those for once in our life about marriage. A 20s adult supposed to have found their mate, job, and then married. More than that, in a conservative area, as long as the women are ‘ready’ to bear child, they must married. The younger they are, the better they are to give offspring for both side. These are how marriage is seen by society’s eyes. But, how the marriage seen in the individual eyes? same as the society’s eyes?

The information i’ve got from a research done by me and my friends about the meaning of life for unmarried woman, it is showed that they are frequently asked by their family and friends about how many child they already have and also why they didn’t married. The society in where they live, shown that a woman in their age (about 40-50) should have been already married and more than that, already have a child. For a woman who choose not to married, this kind of thing sometimes disturb them. It feels like they are being alienated, and then from the book i’ve read, written by Mary and Rhoda titled ‘Women and Gender’, calls them as a rebel. It is because they choose not to obey the ‘social rules’. Living free and could do everything as they want, without a husband or child calling a help from them. Free from a duty that a woman must do as what is seen by sociality.

Another case i got from a real life story in a same society, there is a couple who split out and live in a different place (they didn’t divorce up till now). From the woman side, she said that she actually didn’t love her husband and more than that they are having a very unmatched personality. The reason they are married is because her parents worried that their daughter will be end up unmarried and leading an unhappy life because of a lot negative sight come from other people, so she is married to make the worries leave from her parents.I don’t agree with a woman who choose to marry because of other aspect that is out from their mate, like what my lecturer, Mrs. Henny Wirawan, said that there is someone who choose to marry as fast as they can only to leave their family which put a lot of stress to them. The couple live on an unhappy life. They will arguing for everytime they meet each other, put a lot of stress in both of their life.

Marriage isn’t a game. Choosing a mate is very difficult! We should think it for over and over again. Did our mate give us a pleasure in life, helping each other, understand each other? Or did their physical aspects will support our life? such as his money, health, and job? There are too many things that must be considered, matched with us or not? Choosing a mate isn’t same as choosing a food in a canteen or more difficult than that, choosing a vocational or job. It isn’t same because our choice will affect the rest half of our life. The choice is up to our own importance. Choose something that is best to us and leading us a happy life. Our choice will affect all of our life, our future. So, think it wisely and be prepared for all consequences that come to the choice we’ve made.

Married or not? It’s up to you :)

26 September 2012