Love and Intimacy (Ivana Cahaya Salim)

There are 3 types of love:
1. Romantic love
2. Passionate love
3. Companionate love

Romantic love comes with a sense of ecstasy and anxiety, physical attraction, and sexual desire we tend to idolize the partner, ignoring the faults in the newfound joy of the attachment.
Romantic love was the most desirable form of loving relations.

Passionate love blooms in the initial euphoria of a new attachment to a sexual partner.
This type is known as lust love because they using their partner to have sex, there is no commitment in this love.

Companionate love is a combination of intimacy and commitment. Marriage are based on this love. Not just only closeness to your partner but there is commitment in the relationship. If relationship are continuos, romantic love must develop to companionate love.

John Alan Lee, 6 basic types of love:
1. Eros (romantic love), sharing one’s intimate and sexual with other
2. Ludus (game playing lover), create fun and excitement for each other
3. Storge (quite, calm lover), based on similarity, starts form friendship
4. Mania (crazy lover), create a secure feeling of specialness to each other
5. Pragma (practical love), driven by realities with the purpose of achieving a common goals
6. Agape (selfless love), support and solve the other’s problems.

Robert Sternberg, love is made up of 3 elements:
1. Intimacy: the close bonds of loving relationship. They make each other happy, help each other, communicate with each other, etc.
2. Passion: physically attracted to each other. It is a way for couples to express feeling of nurture, dominace, submission, self-actualization, etc.
3. Commitment: committed to being together for a long period of time.

Theories of love:
1. The behavioral reinforcement theories= we love because the other person reinforces positive feeling in ourselves
2. The cognitive theories= we love because we think we love
3. Physiological arousal theories= people are vulnerable to experience love or emotion when physiologically aroused
4. Evolutionary perspective of love= love developed of our need to be protected from outside threats
5. Biological theories= pheromones may contribute to feelings of love. Neurotransmitter and brain included.

Love develops over the life cycles:
1. Infancy= attachment to our caregiver
2. Adolescence = deals with issues of seperation
From our parents= explore adults ways of loving.



Developing intimacy begins with understanding ourselves and liking ourselves.
Some people use love as a means to manipulate and control others.

29 Okt 2014