This is indeed an overdue post. I’ve been attending the Interview Technique class for nearly a semester but only until now I could bring myself to start writing on the things I learn from the said class, and for this delay I tremendously apologize. I find this class to be surprisingly enjoyable and fun. I love how my wonderful lecturers (Bu Henny and Ci Tasya) openly and willingly share their knowledge and especially their experiences in the field to us, thus the class doesn’t only focus on objective materials per se but even profoundly on values regarding interview techniques.
The assignments given also had been stimulating (dare I say, physically and emotionally). Last week we just finished this practicum on interview simulation in three settings of psychology: educational, industry-organizational, and clinical. Amongst those three, I have to admit that I found myself more at ease in educational setting, perhaps because the situation is more familiar to me in comparison to those other two settings. Nevertheless I prepared well and tried my best so I’ll just let God do the rest. In a nutshell, there seemed to be some common basic rules in all three settings: as an interviewer, we need to build good rapport, we ask, and we do not judge. But the most crucial rule of thumb I found is that we must listen, thoroughly and genuinely.
this picture is taken from www.google.com
I can imagine how uneasy the situation could be for our clients/interviewees to lay open their secrets and problems on the table, especially in front of a stranger (us), no matter whether the said stranger is psychologist-certified or not. It can’t be helped though: people have this rooted fear of unfamiliarity. And since forever ago, parents have always been telling their little innocent children not to talk to strangers; hence the majority of interviewees’ initial close-mouthed attitude towards us is actually an accustomed behavior. This is why a good and warm rapport shall help the interviewee to feel more at ease and welcomed.
Disclosing problems and expressing feelings are effortful. More often than not, the client/interviewee doesn’t know where and how to start telling their problems to us, hence they might hesitate and stutter incoherent words. Give them space to unfold. Listen to whatever they’re trying to say. Smile encouragingly at them when their face says they want to say something but can’t. Maybe what they’re about to share are things that they’re ashamed of and uncomfortable with, or maybe they fear judgment and pity. Bear with them and do not rush.
Sometimes our client’s/interviewee’s statement might confuse us; whether it contradicts the previous statement, implies ambiguity, or just plain unclearly-spoken. If so, do not assume. Ask. Confirm with our client, because sometimes words fail people to say what they really mean. While at that, also keep your eyes open and focus at them. I once read a truth-binding line in a book, titled Love and Misadventures, and so I quote, "For those who say they never knew: the saddest people leave the least of clues." (Leav, 2013).
I sort of think that in an interview, we by means seek truth in other people’s secrets. And while a truth is always subjective, at that time we do actually need its subjectivity, because we want to learn and see the way things are from the perspective of our subject (client/interviewee). We should not be biased and judge someone just because they sin differently than us.
After being told of a story or problem, don’t be entitled to claim that we know exactly how our client/interviewee feels. Express your empathy in a subtle way. Even when we think what they're experiencing is more or less the same as what we had been experiencing, the fact is we are not them. We were not, are not, and will never be being inside their skin, hence we could never fully experience the exact feeling and event that they have undergone.
In clinical settings, when our clients are finally willing to do therapy with us, please don’t promise them rainbows and unicorns. Don’t promise them things we know we cannot deliver just for the sake of false relief. The process is not going to be a walk in the park. It’s effortful and at times seemed difficult, but it’s fine because the process is worth the try. Remember that only our client could change themselves, we are only the helper. We act as a guide and a constant support to remind them that they deserve to be free from being dominated by their own inner demons, to project hope and happiness, and to have desire to survive.
Lastly, I'm going to share my very recent lesson that I learned from my visit to an orphanage a few days ago (on the occasion to fulfill my final assignment of this class, apparently). I went there knowing that I would be interviewing a child whose parents might not be alive anymore, or worse, a child whose parents' existence were unknown to them. Overall, I thought I was ready for whatever it was coming for me. I thought, 'Ok, there would be a sad or even tragic revelation about their family background, and it would be uncomfortable, but it also would be quite predictable, won't it?'
And so once again life proved me wrong, because no matter how often I'm exposed to those blue true stories and news in daily life, I was still taken aback at my interviewee's demeanor when she told me about her background. It was the nonchalant way she told me about her family that had me startled, as if her story was just some common news. It took every ounce in my willpower to not look away when she looked me in the eyes and said that her father left the family (on his own deliberate choice, not because he passed away) when she was a little child. So I practiced the art of nodding and “hmmm”-ing, I cleared my throat and the interview went on. But I cannot lie and say that her statement didn’t make a fist in my heart, because really it did. She was just a kid and the world was harsh.
Soooo, *exhale*, this is my memo at the end of the class. This is the entry I’ve finally filled at the exit. I hope I could write more justifying notes in regards to the lessons I've learned, because in reality I learn so much from this class, more than what I could sum in words. Thank you for keeping up with me.
28 Mei 2014
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